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| Drunk Jokes, Bartender jokes, Clean drunker jokes, Funny Jokes DilseComments.com |
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| Knows when to stop......! |
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A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot.
The bartender is curious and asked him "every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?"
The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home."
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| Drunker and his neighbor |
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A drunkard was coming home from a local liquor shop late at night. He lived alone and locked his house whenever he went out.
As he neared his house he took out his key to open the lock, but he could not manage to put the key into the hole.
After trying this repeatedly, he was tired.
A neighbor who was witnessing the scene took pity on him and said, "Give me the key I will get it open for you."
The drunkard looked for a while, and said to him, "The lock will be opened by me, but do me a favor, please hold the house firmly, while I do the rest. Damn it, it is shaking like a pendulum."
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| Two Drunker |
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Two notorious drunks are sitting at the bar. One is crying. The other asks what's wrong. “I’ve puked all over myself again and my wife is gonna kill me." The other drunk says " Do what I do pal. Explain to your wife that some other drunk puked on you. Put a ten spot in your shirt pocket and tell her that the drunk was sorry and gave you ten dollars to have your clothes cleaned." "Sounds like a great idea" says drunken number 1.
When he gets home, sure enough his wife is fuming and begins yelling at him about his clothes and how disgusting he is. The drunk starts spinning the lie and says “Look for you, there's ten bucks in my shirt pocket." His wife looks in the pocket and finds twenty dollars. “Wait a minute; I thought you said the guy gave you ten for puking on you," says the wife. “He did," says the drunk. “But he shit in my pants too."
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| Jokes of The Month |
Teacher: What do you call the person who keeps on talking when others are no longer interested?
Raj : A teacher. |
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