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| Women Jokes, Jokes about women, Older women jokes DilseComments.com |
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| 100 Kids |
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| A woman from Liverpool is having an interview with BBC news when some of her 100 kids started playing up. She loudly shouted, "Kevin stop biting Kevin, Kevin stop smacking Kevin and Kevin stop kicking Kevin!" When the interviewer asked her how she could distinguish between her kids she replied, "I just use their surnames!" |
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| Women Jokes |
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Women's Training Courses
And for those of us who are sick of the man-bashing jokes, it's her turn now:
Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men Only
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| Women Jokes |
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What Women Can Get Away With
We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.
We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.
Should we wake up looking like something the cat dragged in, we can fix it with cosmetics.
We can have partners that are years younger than us without being called dirty old perverts.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. They look like complete dorks in our clothes.
We have total control over our eyebrows.
It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.
We can cry to get out of speeding fines.
The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts... and pool... and football.
We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers... men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our... womanhood.
Taxis stop for us.
We get drunk quicker and cheaper.
We have no desire to arrange our possessions in alphabetical order. Ever.
We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck' (or any other football thing). But we look incredibly cool if we do.
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| Women Jokes |
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| When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits. |
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| Women Jokes |
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Fourth Husband
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
"How wonderful! But I hope you don't mind me asking what happened to your first husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."
"Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?"
"He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died."
"Oh, how terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third husband."
"He died of a broken neck."
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| Jokes of The Month |
Teacher: What do you call the person who keeps on talking when others are no longer interested?
Raj : A teacher. |
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